--- title: "That small kindness meant more than you think" url: https://magnanimo.us/daily/2026-10-29-kindness-underestimated/ description: "Studies by Kumar and Epley found people who do small kind acts underestimate how good they make others feel. What they found, and why it matters." type: daily section: "Today's Kindness" published: 2026-10-29 updated: 2026-10-29 author: The Magnanimous Editors publisher: Magnanimous (https://magnanimo.us/) --- Today's Kindness · Science of giving # That small kindness meant more than you think Givers think about the cup of hot chocolate. Receivers feel the warmth behind it. That gap may be why we hold back on kindness. By [The Magnanimous Editors](https://magnanimo.us/about/#editors) · Published Thursday, October 29, 2026 · 3 min read · 3 linked sources On a cold day at an ice rink in Chicago, researchers handed people a cup of hot chocolate and gave them a choice: keep it, or give it to a stranger. Most gave it away. Then the givers guessed how the stranger would feel. They guessed too low. That small, sweet experiment is part of a set of studies with a simple message: your little kindnesses land harder than you expect. ## Hot chocolate, cupcakes and a mood scale The studies, by Amit Kumar of the University of Texas at Austin and Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago, were published in the [Journal of Experimental Psychology: General](https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0001271) under a title that says it all: "A little good goes an unexpectedly long way." The researchers ran several experiments, in the field and in the lab. In one, MBA students did two random acts of kindness of their choosing over two days, like paying for someone's lunch. They rated how they thought the recipient felt on a scale from -5 to 5, and the recipients rated themselves. According to [UT Austin's McCombs School](https://news.mccombs.utexas.edu/research/a-little-good-goes-farther-than-you-think/), performers guessed recipients were at 2.32 on average. The recipients reported 3.55. At the ice rink in Maggie Daley Park, 84 people were recruited and 75 agreed to give their hot chocolate away. The givers expected recipients' mood to average 2.7. Recipients reported 3.5. "People aren't way off base," Kumar said. "They get that being kind to people makes them feel good. What we don't get is how good it really makes others feel." ## It's the warmth, not the thing Why the gap? The researchers think givers focus on the object, the cupcake or the coffee, while receivers notice the gesture. In a cupcake experiment, recipients who got a cupcake through a stranger's kindness were happier than people who just got one from the researchers. The givers didn't predict that difference. "People don't seem to fully appreciate the role that interpersonal warmth plays in these interactions," Kumar told the [Greater Good Science Center](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/do_you_underestimate_the_impact_of_being_kind). The size of the act didn't seem to matter much either. As Greater Good summarized it, the underestimate showed up regardless of "how big it was or whether it involved an action taken or a material gift," and whether the recipient was a friend or a stranger. The researchers also checked whether the extra delight was just surprise. It wasn't: it didn't appear when people got something unexpected that wasn't framed as a kindness. ## And it gets passed on In a final lab study, people who received a small gift through another participant's kindness went on to split $100 more generously with a stranger, giving away $48.02 on average versus $41.20 for people who had simply picked out a gift themselves. The givers didn't see that coming either. "It turns out generosity can actually be contagious," Kumar said. (Yesterday's entry, on how cooperation cascades through networks of strangers, found something similar.) The practical point is the part that matters. If we expect our kindness to be a small thing, we're more likely to skip it, or worry it will seem awkward. These studies suggest the worry is usually misplaced. As always, one set of experiments, mostly in one city, isn't the last word. Our [science of giving](https://magnanimo.us/science-of-giving/) guide covers how findings like this fit with the wider research, including the ones that haven't replicated. ## Today's act **The act:** Notice the moment today when you think "that's too small to bother," and do it anyway. Small is the point. - Buy a coffee or hot chocolate for the person behind you, a coworker or a crossing guard. - Send a two-line text telling a friend something specific you appreciate about them. - Give up your spot in line to someone with fewer items or a restless kid. - Leave a note for a neighbor, custodian or delivery driver. Need more ideas? Try the [kindness generator](https://magnanimo.us/kindness-generator/) or our list of [random acts of kindness ideas](https://magnanimo.us/random-acts-of-kindness-ideas/). ## Sources 1. [Kumar, A. & Epley, N. — A little good goes an unexpectedly long way: Underestimating the positive impact of kindness on recipients, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 152(1):236–252 (2023)](https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0001271) 2. [Texas McCombs — A Little Good Goes Farther Than You Think (Aug. 18, 2022)](https://news.mccombs.utexas.edu/research/a-little-good-goes-farther-than-you-think/) 3. [Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley (Jill Suttie) — Do You Underestimate the Impact of Being Kind? (Nov. 7, 2022)](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/do_you_underestimate_the_impact_of_being_kind) Today's act Do one small, warm thing for someone today, like a note, a coffee or a favor, and don't talk yourself out of it as "too small." [How to do it](https://magnanimo.us/daily/2026-10-29-kindness-underestimated/#todays-act) · [Draw another kindness](https://magnanimo.us/kindness-generator/) ## Go deeper Everyday generosity ### [The science of giving: what research says about generosity and happiness](https://magnanimo.us/science-of-giving/) The studies behind "giving makes you happy," what held up when researchers re-ran them, and how to use the findings without overselling them. 7 min read Everyday generosity ### [75 random acts of kindness ideas, from free to five dollars](https://magnanimo.us/random-acts-of-kindness-ideas/) Seventy-five small, specific kindnesses sorted by budget and setting, plus what research says about why they land harder than you expect. 7 min read Everyday generosity ### [Generosity at work: small habits that make a team better](https://magnanimo.us/generosity-at-work/) Workplace generosity is more than a charity drive. It's credit-sharing, mentoring, and covering for each other, and research suggests it helps teams. 4 min read ## More from Today's Kindness October 28 · Science of giving ### [Kindness is contagious, up to three people away](https://magnanimo.us/daily/2026-10-28-kindness-is-contagious/) In a lab game among strangers, each act of generosity was copied down the line, reaching people up to three steps away. Selfishness spread too. Today's act Do one visible, generous thing for someone today, then make it easy to pass on: tell them they don't owe you, just someone else. October 27 · History ### [Paul Newman bottled a holiday gift, then gave all the profits away](https://magnanimo.us/daily/2026-10-27-newmans-own/) A holiday gift in wine bottles became a food company that has given away every dollar of profit for more than 40 years. Today's act Turn something you make well into a small giving project: trade a batch for donations to a kids' charity you have checked out. October 26 · Everyday kindness ### [Giving blood: why the supply is always short, and what one hour of your time does](https://magnanimo.us/daily/2026-10-26-give-blood/) Blood can't be manufactured, red cells last 42 days and platelets five. That's why the need never ends, and why one hour of your time matters. Today's act Book a blood or platelet donation appointment for this week, or check if you're eligible if you've been turned away before. [Every entry in Today's Kindness →](https://magnanimo.us/daily/)