That small kindness meant more than you think

On a cold day at an ice rink in Chicago, researchers handed people a cup of hot chocolate and gave them a choice: keep it, or give it to a stranger. Most gave it away. Then the givers guessed how the stranger would feel. They guessed too low. That small, sweet experiment is part of a set of studies with a simple message: your little kindnesses land harder than you expect.

Hot chocolate, cupcakes and a mood scale

The studies, by Amit Kumar of the University of Texas at Austin and Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago, were published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General under a title that says it all: "A little good goes an unexpectedly long way." The researchers ran several experiments, in the field and in the lab.

In one, MBA students did two random acts of kindness of their choosing over two days, like paying for someone's lunch. They rated how they thought the recipient felt on a scale from -5 to 5, and the recipients rated themselves. According to UT Austin's McCombs School, performers guessed recipients were at 2.32 on average. The recipients reported 3.55.

At the ice rink in Maggie Daley Park, 84 people were recruited and 75 agreed to give their hot chocolate away. The givers expected recipients' mood to average 2.7. Recipients reported 3.5. "People aren't way off base," Kumar said. "They get that being kind to people makes them feel good. What we don't get is how good it really makes others feel."

It's the warmth, not the thing

Why the gap? The researchers think givers focus on the object, the cupcake or the coffee, while receivers notice the gesture. In a cupcake experiment, recipients who got a cupcake through a stranger's kindness were happier than people who just got one from the researchers. The givers didn't predict that difference. "People don't seem to fully appreciate the role that interpersonal warmth plays in these interactions," Kumar told the Greater Good Science Center.

The size of the act didn't seem to matter much either. As Greater Good summarized it, the underestimate showed up regardless of "how big it was or whether it involved an action taken or a material gift," and whether the recipient was a friend or a stranger. The researchers also checked whether the extra delight was just surprise. It wasn't: it didn't appear when people got something unexpected that wasn't framed as a kindness.

And it gets passed on

In a final lab study, people who received a small gift through another participant's kindness went on to split $100 more generously with a stranger, giving away $48.02 on average versus $41.20 for people who had simply picked out a gift themselves. The givers didn't see that coming either. "It turns out generosity can actually be contagious," Kumar said. (Yesterday's entry, on how cooperation cascades through networks of strangers, found something similar.)

The practical point is the part that matters. If we expect our kindness to be a small thing, we're more likely to skip it, or worry it will seem awkward. These studies suggest the worry is usually misplaced. As always, one set of experiments, mostly in one city, isn't the last word. Our science of giving guide covers how findings like this fit with the wider research, including the ones that haven't replicated.

Today's act

Sources

1. Kumar, A. & Epley, N. — A little good goes an unexpectedly long way: Underestimating the positive impact of kindness on recipients, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General 152(1):236–252 (2023)
2. Texas McCombs — A Little Good Goes Farther Than You Think (Aug. 18, 2022)
3. Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley (Jill Suttie) — Do You Underestimate the Impact of Being Kind? (Nov. 7, 2022)